When it all Falls Apart
by Lambbaby
Summary: Sometimes everything needs to fall apart in order to be put back together. A BBRae story.
1. When It All Falls Apart

**When It All Falls Apart**

**A/N: See ending authors note.**

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing and am sadly making no profit from any of this. It all belongs to DC Comics and the titles belong to the respective artists who sing them.

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She should be feeling excited. She should be feeling overjoyed. She should be feeling so many good things right now. Instead she was feeling distraught. Instead she was feeling sad. Instead she was feeling afraid.

She couldn't tell him. She knew it was wrong but right now she couldn't tell him. She doubted she'd be able to handle his reaction. At least not yet. She wouldn't tell him yet; she would keep it secret for now,

She'd thought they'd been careful. Thought that they'd taken every available cautionary measure. She'd taken every pill, every patch, and every shot. She'd chanted every spell and ritual related to the subject. He'd done his part in being careful too. Apparently they hadn't been careful enough. They'd tried so hard because they knew neither of them was ready for this. Ready for a baby.

A baby. A small living, breathing (almost) human being. A baby. A small person that requires so much time and so much attention. A little being that needs to be fed and clothed and diapered. A baby. A small creature that was solely dependent on its caretakers. A baby.

She couldn't have a baby. She was barely more than a baby herself. How could she handle a baby, when she could barely control her own emotions? How could she raise a baby with her powers and her issues? How could and would she take care of it? She knew nothing substantial about babies except that they were noisy and smelly.

She had no experience with mothers or with how one should act. She had no experience in raising children. The monks of Azarath, who barely acknowledged her presence, had raised her. She knew nothing about what a mother was supposed to do, and no idea how to handle all the issues that came with having a child.

More to the point she didn't want one. She had never truly been planning to have children, hence all the precautionary measures. Her own birth and the history behind how she had come to be may not have ruined intimacy for her but it damn sure made her not want to bring a child into the world. What if it inherited her powers, her gifts and her curse? She was afraid of having a child, afraid of having to inflict her forced lifestyle onto another. She was afraid of what would happen if Trigon decided this child should be his new target. Afraid of what other mystical beings might do to a child of hers and by blood a descendant of Trigon. So many 'what if' scenarios raced through her head.

Besides how could she protect the world if she was pregnant? How could she go out and try to take down villains and kick some ass if she was worrying more about losing her child than she was the battle at hand? How could she go out and fight if she was worried that back at home her child wasn't safe, or was in danger? What about her powers? Would she be able to utilize them while pregnant? How would they react to the changes her body would go through? Her emotions were already volatile to begin with, what if she lost control? What if she hurt someone?

How would the rest of the team react? What would they say, what would they do? She knew Robin prided himself on being very moral and very big on keeping your personal life separate from your work. Where exactly did teen pregnancy fall on the morality scale? What would he say about her status on the team?

Starfire didn't worry her. Raven knew that Star loved children and was known to go on and on about the number of small ones she wished to have. Star would stand by her, she knew. Would Cyborg? Her surrogate brother was very protective of her and always tried to look out for her. Would he be excited for her or think that she had messed up her life? Would he think less of her knowing that she was pregnant?

And then there was Gar. Ever since her return they'd spent time getting to know each other again. Telling each other everything. Sharing everything with one another. But how was she to tell him this? How was she to tell him that she was carrying his child? She was surprised that his heightened senses hadn't picked up anything yet. Or did he already know? Would he be happy for her, for them? Or would he think that she had planned this for some reason; think that this was the worst possible thing that could happen to him? Would he want to have a child, want to have a child with her? Did he even want to be a father one day? Would he share her worries about how they would handle this situation? Would he want to raise this child with her? Would he even want to keep it?

The thoughts began to become too much. Too much fear, too much apprehension. Too much, too much, too much! Too much everything. She knew she couldn't do this, knew she couldn't handle this. She couldn't, she couldn't, she couldn't! Not alone. She needed help. She needed guidance. Azar, help her she was lost.

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**A/N:** Okay let's start at the beginning. This is set roughly 4-5 months after 'White Lines'. You don't truly need to read that to understand this, as it's not so much a sequel as it is companion. And yes it is possible, even using all the protection out there to still become pregnant. It can happen to roughly about 1 of the population. Unfortunately BB and Raven are that 1. Now I have to admit this was not purely my idea. I got the idea after reading an interview with George Perez. He talked about Raven and relationships and how she'd deal with sex and somehow I began to wonder about how she'd deal with a baby. Plus I cannot count how many fics out there have Raven get pregnant and just be oh so joyous about it. I mean come on as a child of a teen mother I can tell you that no matter how much you love your partner and all that other stuff being a mother when you're basically still a child is scary. And not necessarily a happy moment. So I decided to address that aspect as well. This story will be considerably longer than 'White Lines' since I want to give insight into how the other Titans are reacting to this news. And since it's following a prior fic where she appeared I may bring Wondergirl into the mix, although I may choose Cassie over Donna. Next chapter Gar gets the news.


	2. Consequence of Love

**Chapter 2:**

**Consequence of Love**

A/N: So this is chapter 2. It's from Beast Boy's pov. The next chapter may not be up for a while. I'll be out of town for a week at a funeral for my uncle and I'm not sure that I'll be ready to write again when I come back. If you don't like this chapter tough. Right now I do not care. I'm sorry if I sound mean, it's just that the closer the funeral gets the worse I get. Any way here it is.

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She had to be joking. There was no possible way that what she was telling him could be true. Even though Gar knew that she did not joke and rarely lied, he found himself desperately hoping that she was currently playing the world's worst joke on him. Please let that be the case. Please God let her lying.

He wasn't expecting this. When she'd come to him to tell him the reasons behind her strange actions for the past two weeks, he'd expected her to say that her emotions were acting up, or worse case scenario, that Trigon had found a new way to conquer the universe. At the very least he'd been expecting her to dump him, tell him it was over. But this…this completely blindsided him.

A baby. She was having a baby. More specifically she was having **HIS** baby. He, Garfield Logan had gotten Raven 'Rachel' Roth pregnant. He was the one responsible for impregnating one of the most powerful young women he knew. Holy Crap.

But she couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't be. They'd been so very careful. He clearly remembered being with her as they went out and bought every pill, every contraceptive that they could possibly find. They'd done everything right. They'd done everything that people who were having sex were supposed to do in order to avoid this exact situation. Everything.

He asked her multiple times if she was sure. Had she taken every test correctly? Yes. Had the OB/Gyn done her job properly? Yes. With each affirmative his heart sank lower and lower until it was eventually swimming in his stomach. This was serious. She wasn't joking. This was not a test. They were pregnant.

He wasn't ready for a baby. He was seventeen. He wasn't even legally old enough to vote or drink and yet he was going to have a baby. This wasn't right. Wasn't fair. This wasn't what he wanted or what he'd planned.

How would he raise a baby? How would he feed it, clothe it? How would he be able to buy all the things a baby needed to live? He had no formal schooling and no real job training. Hell he was still very much a baby himself.

What about his powers? Would they pass onto this child? (He wasn't ready to acknowledge it as his baby just yet). Would the child be green like him? Or would it be porcelain pale like her? What about the disease that was the catalyst for his powers? Would that affect the child as well? Would it even has his powers or would it inherit all of hers? If so would it have her issues, her restrictions, her fears?

Could he still be a Titan? What would the others say? Would Robin, who wore his morality like a badge, berate him and then kick him out? Would Starfire be upset at the distress and pain he unwittingly going to put her 'sister' through? Would Cyborg still want to hang out with him like before? Or would he treat him differently once he learned that Gar truly was as dumb as he thought? Would he still be able to go off and fight knowing that a pregnant Raven was being left behind; or that a helpless child was awaiting his return?

What did he know about kids anyway? Sure he acted like one most of the time but that still didn't make him an expert on child rearing. He didn't know the first thing about raising a baby. Feed it, change it, clean it, he wasn't prepared to do any of the above. And he didn't know the first thing about being a father. All he had to go by were some deeply repressed memories of his father; a smile a hug, a laughing voice. But nothing that dealt with raising a child.

And it wasn't like he knew much about family either. His family was the Titans and…the Doom Patrol.

The Doom Patrol. How could he tell Steve and Rita that he'd knocked up his teenage girlfriend, who by the way they hadn't even met? He could already see the disappointment in their eyes. They would be so devastated. He couldn't tell them about this. They couldn't know how badly he'd screwed up.

The thoughts stopped racing around his brain for an instant and his eyes were drawn back to the girl in front of him. She stood there before him, her gray cloak drawn tightly around her, as if she was trying to hide in its depths. Her violet hair, which was little past her shoulders, fell across her face, while her large jarcanda blossom eyes latched onto his. They were imploring him to say something, anything. She wanted his reassurance, his acceptance of this news he realized. He could smell her desperation; her fear and (if he inhaled deeply enough) he thought he could faintly smell the faint scent of another within her. She was waiting for his response, his acknowledgement. But this was all too much right now and he had nothing to say to her to make this okay. So he did the only thing that felt right. He turned and walked away.

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A/N: So before everyone begins to call for my head I would like you all to stop and think for a moment. How many teenage boys do you know are excited when their girlfriend tells them she's pregnant? I don't know one, if any. Hence Gar's reaction. Will he come around and come back? I'm not too sure. Right now I'm not even sure if I'll have Raven keeping this baby. As much as I like happy endings, I am also a realist and realize that not all stories get a happy ending, even when I'm the one writing them. I'll see how the next couple chapters go before I decide. Review and respond if you please. And be nice. I'm grieving and grief does NOT make me nice. 


	3. I'll Stand By You

**I'll Stand by You**

**A/N:** This chapter focuses on Star's point of view. I decided to just use the name Kori instead of Starfire. Now for those of you who (for some reason unknown to me) felt the need to be mad about my mention of Raven not keeping her baby read this chapter. And remember, it is a fan fiction story. It's not a real baby. And I could've sworn that the precise phrasing I used was that **I was unsure about Raven keeping the baby, not about her having it. **Seriously though, people I'm not in great place so do not try your luck with me.

**Disclaimer:** I own nada. The title belongs to the Jackson 5 or whoever sang the song first. The characters belong to DC Comics.

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She couldn't help but be joyful. She knew Raven, her almost sister and team mate, was far from overjoyed but Kori decided she'd just be joyful enough for the both of them. It was her way. 

She'd been so scared. When Raven had come to tell Kori of her pregnancy she'd been so scared. And Raven did not do scared. But Kori could plainly see her worry, see her fear. It showed in the way she kept grasping at her cloak, as if she could just disappear into its folds. It showed in the way she kept wringing her hands together, She was terrified and Kori could see it.

Kori was aware that the ways of Earth and especially America were very different from her own home. On her planet it was normal for a girl to be joined and beginning a family by her fourteenth year. Her people, for her still un-joined status, considered Kori herself an anomaly. But she knew that in the world she resided now most young women were not overjoyed to be starting a family.

She knew Raven and her fears. She knew Raven had little to no experience with children; other than that brief babysitting job with Melvin, Timmy and Teether. Kori knew that while her time with her parents had been short, Raven's own time with Arella had been significantly shorter. She knew nothing about being a mother and nothing about raising a child. She needed help.

Which is why, when Raven voiced her need to get out of the Tower, Kori took her shopping. It had been the first place she could think of to escape to. Besides it was where Kori thought her best thoughts and where she went to collect herself when she was falling apart. She knew it would be a welcome change for her homebound friend.

So they shopped. And in between Kori insisting that Raven let her buy clothes for her changing body, Kori talked. She told Raven all the joyous information she'd learned about births from the Discovery channel and from her own people. She did leave out the complex birthing songs though; she'd share those later. She shared what little she knew about motherhood and raising a child. She told Raven that Garfield would be back. That there was no way he would abandon her or his child. That he was just scared and like her unsure of what the future would bring. But he would be back. She tried to lay to rest Raven's fears of how the rest of the team would react, assured her that no one would think less of her; although she knew that Dick would be unbearable for days and would probably not speak to either of them for a little while.

Most importantly of all Kori didn't judge her friend. Not once during the whole day did Kori try and lecture her 'sister' about her being pregnant. Not once did she try and tell her that she should've waited to engage in sex or that she should've been more stringent in her contraceptive usage. Not once did she mention disappointment with Raven, Gar and the choices they'd made. Such thoughts never even crossed her mind. Kori knew that life did not always follow the course we set before it. Knew that sometimes things occurred that were beyond our control. This baby was one of those things. She understood that and she would help her friend understand that as well.

Kori also understood Raven's fears about having this child. Motherhood was a daunting task and childbirth frightening. Throw in a child with superpowers and it could seem damn near impossible. But unlike Raven, Kori refused to dwell on the negative pieces of the puzzle. Yes the child could have Raven's powers. But how adorable would the two of them look, dressed alike and flying side by side? And unlike Raven this child would have someone to guide him or her to a better, less lonesome path of harnessing his or her abilities. Raven would be the one teaching this child that controlling his or her powers do not mean he or she has to stop living life. Besides she knew Raven would not want any child to have to feel the loneliness and abandonment she herself had felt. Kori also pointed out that the child could develop Garfield's abilities and be able to change his or her genetic make-up at will. Or the child could even end up completely human, since he or she would have one fully human and one half human parent. There were so many things that were still to be discovered, and worrying about them now would do no one any good.

As they arrived back at the Tower, Kori told Raven the most important thing she had to say. She would stand by her. No matter what the rest of the team said or did, she would not abandon her. She was her friend no matter what path her life took her down. Even more importantly they were family and family did not abandon each other. And she would support her and all her decisions regarding this baby; although Kori already knew that despite some serious thinking on the matter, Raven would not be aborting her baby. Raven had told Kori about how she had considered the idea at first but after some serious thinking decided that it was just not for her.

Watching her friend Kori knew that Raven would be able to handle this. Already Kori had caught her stroking her slightly rounded belly and softly humming lullabies to the child growing within her. And she wouldn't be alone. Kori would be there with her. No matter what and come what may.

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**A/N:** Now I would like to inform everyone that slight mentions of abortion will pop up again, although this is not an abortion story. Don't like it? Don't read it. I'm not trying to offend you and I apologize if I do but this is my story and I will write the situations as I see fit. I already stated in the first chapter that I wanted this to be a more realistic pregnancy story and like it or not abortion is a realistic option. Most of Kori's reaction is based on myself and a few other friends I know. Anyway review and let me know what you think. 


	4. I'll Cover You

**I'll Cover You**

**A/N:** I needed a break from this for a while. But after a lovely holiday spent with my awesome family, especially my two cousins, who at 7 and 3 are well on their way to a life in comedy, I'm back. And hopefully ready to do this again. So here is Cyborg's chapter. I've struggled with this particular chapter since I began this story. I want him sympathetic to Raven but I don't want him to demonize his best friend either. Hard to write and even harder to successfully do. But I gave it my best shot here. So tell me what you think.

_Oh and to the lovely child who continues to tell me how wrong I am to mention abortion as a real life issue. Please stop reading my story. If it offends you so much please stop reading it. Thank you._

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans and all things related to them belong to DC Comics. Cause if they belonged to me I definitely would've chosen to revive Superboy over Jericho. Superboy is just way cooler. And the title of this chapter belongs to Jonathan Larson, who if I remember correctly penned it for the musical **_Rent._**

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Victor knew why Gar had left for the Doom Patrol. Why, nearly seven weeks ago, he'd packed a bag and left the Tower, claiming to have some family issues to deal with. He'd heard Raven as she informed her boyfriend that she was pregnant. Not that he'd been spying or anything but when you're as connected to your home as he was there was really no way to escape hearing and seeing things you didn't want to see and weren't supposed to know. Although he couldn't really be held at fault, after all the Tower's cameras were integrated into his system. He couldn't avoid them if he tried. 

So he knew why his best friend had disappeared. And thanks to Gar's desire to keep in touch while he collected himself he also knew how much his friend was beating himself for leaving like that. He knew that Gar felt bad for just up and running away, especially since he himself knew how badly it hurt to be abandoned in that fashion. He knew that Gar was trying to figure out how he was going to care for his child and his girlfriend. He knew Gar was trying to build up enough nerve to tell Steve and Rita about his pregnant girlfriend, who they hadn't meet except for that one time when the world was ending. He also knew Gar had asked him to make sure that she was okay, even though Victor repeatedly told him the only way to make her okay was for Garfield to bring his lanky green behind back home now and beg her to forgive him for leaving. He repeatedly told Garfield that nothing he did would make her okay, cause what she really needed was him and his support with this baby.

And even though he said he wouldn't he did watch over her. Even though he knew he had to extra careful because Raven didn't yet know that he knew that she was pregnant. And like any good friend he knew that he couldn't tell her that Gar had told him because not only would he be lying but he'd also be ratting out a friend. So he tried to be nonchalant about the extra vitamins in the Tower and the extra food he was buying. He tried to act as if he didn't notice that her leotard was slowly becoming tighter and tighter, and that she was spending more time in civilian clothes. He tried to sound innocent when he asked her if she was feeling okay after an early morning spent with her head in the toilet. He would let her come to him, when she was ready.

He got lucky. She didn't like hospitals or doctors and hated going to STAR Labs for anything unless she needed to. So when she began to get too big to hide she came to him. She trusted him. And she told him that she was pregnant. By Garfield. And she was scared of having this baby and of what it would mean for her, for him, for the team. She was scared. She was scared because she hadn't heard anything from him in weeks and even though she didn't want to think badly of him she was beginning to wonder if he was ever coming back.

And this is where things got hard. Because as much as he wanted to tell her where Gar was he couldn't. He couldn't betray his friend like that. But he couldn't lie to her either. So he did what he could to maintain his loyalties to both. Told her that he knew Garfield would be back. Told her that Garfield hadn't abandoned her or their baby he was just trying to get himself together. He would be back. Told her that he was likely very upset with himself for just leaving her like that and that he probably wouldn't be gone much longer. And that even though what she was going through was scary, she'd been through worse and could handle this and that her having a child would not affect this team the way she was thinking. Things would be okay.

And while she didn't look completely convinced she did look more relaxed than he'd seen her in weeks. Which was saying something seeing as how Kori had taken it upon herself to try and pamper Raven as much as possible without arousing Robin's suspicion. But then he noticed her looking at him. The hard kind of look his mother had given once when he was sneaking a cookie before dinner. The hard kind of look Robin gave him when he tried to question him about his late nights out and whom he was spending them with. The hard kind of look Jinx gave him when she trying to figure out if he being honest or not with her. The kind of look that made him wish he hadn't noticed the look. So he asked her if there was more she had to say.

She asked him what he thought of her situation. He considered asking her to elaborate but figured now was not the time to play 20 questions. So he told her. While it wasn't the best situation in the world it could be a hell of a lot worse. She asked how things could be worse. So he told her. Told her of the women he'd seen, before he'd hooked up with the Titans, who been in her place. Told her how alone they'd been and how sad they were. They had no one. No friends, no family, no anyone to help them through this. She had him and Kori. She had the Titans. Told her about the women and girls in this world who went through such a big change not knowing where to turn, who to go to for help. She knew where she could go. She was lucky. She considered this before asking if he saw her any differently now, knowing that she was about to be a teen mother. For a moment he wondered why she would asking him such a question before realizing that she was really worried. Worried that his perception of her had changed. Worried that he would pass judgment on her for getting into a predicament that was not her fault.

He made sure she was looking at him when he told her that his vision of her hadn't budged. She was still Raven and she was still a teammate, a compatriot, a friend. She was still his family. And that alone was reason enough for him to stand by her. And he told her he'd still stand by her even when people inside and outside of their little island began to pass judgment as they invariably would. Nothing and no one would change that.

She then asked him if he thought she was unnecessarily risking a life, by bringing a child into the world she lived in. A world full of vindictive villains and evil demons that would love to hurt her through a child. Was she making the right choice in choosing to raise this child? He told her that whether or not she had a child the world she lived in would still be dangerous. And that the choice to raise the child in the Tower was hers and hers alone; he couldn't speak on that decision because it wasn't his choice to make. But whatever choice she made it was her decision. And as her family and her friend he would support her. Like he always did and always would. He would watch out for her and cover her.

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**A/N:** So here it is. Did I get it right, Cyborg's reactions? Up next is Robin, who is driving me crazy because while I want him to be mad and preachy I don't want him to come off to angry and preachy. Finding the right mix is killing me. Let me know what you think. And by the way a happy belated new year to all of you. This'll be my best year yet cause I'll be 21 this year. And I'll be in Paris! Thank goodness for great years. 


	5. In The Deep

**In the Deep**

A/N: So this is my Robin chapter. God I must've rewritten this one at least 10 times. I realllllllly worked hard on this one. Robin is not an easy character for me to do. He makes me crazy because I can't get into his head. But I think, I hope that I've, at the very least, managed to capture a bit of him in this chapter. By the way I'm trying to see how many chapters I can write without actual dialogue. So far this makes five.

_Disclaimer_: All characters mentioned belong to DC Comics. The title of this chapter belongs to Bird York. I just thought it fit.

_And now for my other announcement:_ **Christian-Aero-Captain,** I have very tolerantly put up with your flaming every chapter I post, which I know you're not really reading because only the first two chapters mention abortion. I have tolerantly put up with you insulting me and the fact that I chose to write about abortion in general. I have been very nice to you because I feel that by putting my work on a site like this I am opening myself to criticism and other such acts. But **I WILL NOT** tolerate you slamming my other reviewers. If you feel that the content I am writing about is morally wrong then that is your belief. As I previously told you I respect that belief. _However the moment you begin to insult the other open-minded people reading this story is when my tolerance ends. Don't you dare think that I'm going to let you criticize the other writers on this site._ You want to speak about human rights and the sanctity of life? That's fine; I'd have that discussion with you. But I won't let you shove your views down my throat or anyone else's. Tell me something, in real life when a father rapes and impregnates his daughter, is her abortion still a sin? Is she still a horrible person? Is she still morally corrupt because she refuses to give birth to a child that she didn't want, didn't ask for? What about the women who could die from medical issues if they choose to give birth? Should they abandon their lives, their families, their chance to give an adopted child a family, just because abortion may not be what some people think is morally right? I don't think so. And just so we're clear here, hon, I'm done being nice. I have every response from you on file and if you continue to insult my fellow writers I will have you removed from this site.

Now let's get this party started.

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He'd been angry. For nearly a week now he'd been sitting in this room, brooding and fuming. He'd been avoiding his teammates at every turn. Even Kori couldn't make him leave, as he wasn't speaking to her either. Instead he'd stayed sequestered in his room, away from the world, away from his friends, but most importantly he'd been away from Raven. 

She'd been calm when she came to speak to him. Dick suspected that her calm had more to do with saving face and upholding her façade of a tough girl than it did with inner peace. But he decided to keep that thought to himself. After all if Raven was coming to him something important must've happened. He didn't want to stop her before she began.

By the time she was done he was wishing he'd had stopped her. He had run all sorts of scenarios through his mind about what she could be coming to say. He'd imagined Trigon, The Brotherhood, Slade, even Terra, had been what she was here to talk about. He'd been planning attacks and training sessions before she'd begun. All those thoughts stopped when he heard say she was pregnant. When he heard her say that she and Gar were having a baby. Together.

For a moment he'd thought it was a joke. He'd looked around very briefly for the rest of the team, hoping they'd appear with a laugh and chuckle, at his expense. But they didn't. She wasn't joking. She wasn't playing some cruel trick on him. She was truly having a baby. She was truly pregnant.

Looking at her he wondered how he could've missed the signs. Even if her stomach wasn't as big as a basketball it did look slightly fuller. And she'd been eating more lately, as if she was actually hungry. Come to think of it, there had been many little hints in the past couple of months. She slept more, she smiled more, she was even wearing civilian clothes more. He thought she'd just been getting along better with her powers, with her emotions. He didn't even think it was because she was having a child.

That explained Garfield's long absence too. He thought maybe the Doom Patrol was just on some long mission in Istanbul or something and that's why Gar was still gone six months later. But now he realized that Gar already knew, had already been told that Raven was having his child. And he'd left because he wasn't able to handle the notion of being a father. And Dick hadn't known any of this until today.

That was his second mistake, not knowing what was going on with his team. His first mistake, he told himself, was trusting his team to be responsible when it came to emotions like lust and love. He'd thought he could trust them to be careful, thought they would realize the repercussions and that they'd be more responsible. Thought that they knew that a situation like this was just unacceptable, and irresponsible. He thought that they knew better.

Her façade slipped then. The moment he began to let the judgment, and condemnation roll from his mouth, is the moment when he saw her crumble, if only for a second. And then she was gone. No yelling, no arguing, and no trying to tell him he was wrong, or that he was a hypocrite. Just gone. Leaving him with two teammates who must've appeared when he'd been trying to piece together her words. A look at Victor, a glance at Kori revealed that they too had already known and that they'd been keeping it from him.

Before he realized it they too were gone. But not before making it clear that they were disappointed in him. That they thought he was wrong for judging her and denouncing her for something that was beyond her control.

He'd been in his room since that conversation. Refusing to come out and refusing to acknowledge anyone who came to the door. He'd thought of all the ways he could make things right, all the ways he could bring his team back together. He made list after list of the reasons why they couldn't keep this child, of the reasons why she had to give it up. They ranged from the outrageous: # 324:Gray and green was not a pretty skin tone color; to the just plain crazy. He decided that she couldn't raise this child. She would just have to give it away when she gave birth. Raven could not be a Titan and a mother. It wouldn't work.

He was going to tell her this. Going to give her these lists and tell her his reasoning.Tell her that she was not going to have any say in how things went because he was the team leader. He was going to make her, make them see. Make them understand how dangerous this was, how this was not a good idea. How they would not function the same with a child in the Tower. He was going to make…was going to…was going…nowhere. He wasn't going to tell them this. Wasn't going to preach to them the reasons they couldn't do this.

It was the picture that made him realize this. The picture that was taken days after Raven's return from her Mexican retreat. Raven still had that long hair, he was still trying not to look like he wanted to be that close to Kori and Gar and Vic were just being themselves. In it they were all actually smiling, that true genuine smile that usually disappears when you realize the world isn't all pink and rosy. But there they were, with those smiles on their faces, this tangled mess of limbs and grins. At first glance they looked like some cheesy brochure picture for a college. But a closer look revealed the comfortable, easy way they fit into each other, like pieces of a rather colorful puzzle. Like a family.

He tore up the lists. They were a little nutty and he realized that hey wouldn't help his team anyway. Instead he called a team meeting, sans Garfield, who was not answering his communicator. Told his team that while he was not an advocate for teen pregnancy, he was still part of this family. As were the rest of them. Raven and Garfield were his family. And even if he did think they were too young and too inexperienced, it didn't matter what he thought. Cause in the end they were a team. A unit. A family. And while this baby would mean some changes in the Tower it wouldn't destroy their family. It would only make it bigger.

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A/N: So there it is. I feel like I missed something in this chapter. Let me know if you agree. Next up is…I'm not really sure. I think I want to bring in the Gar's adoptive parents but I'm not too sure about that. And for those of you who are wondering, yes Gar will be back. And definitely before the baby is born. I think. Although I doubt the next chapter will be up anytime soon. Maybe by Valentine's Day as a gift to all the lonely people, myself included. Thanks for reading. 

**Oh and sorry about the rant at the beginning. I just don't like it when people choose to harass those who don't agree with them.**


	6. The Carpal Tunnel of Love

**The Carpal Tunnel of Love**

A/N: So here is chapter 6. I know, I know I promised this chapter weeks ago. But as most of you should know I'm a big liar and can't keep a promise to save my life. And I know I said I was going to bring the Doom Patrol into this but…literally a dozen drafts later I decided to just skip them all together and get on with the rest of the fic. Trust me, the chapter with them would've been so stiff and soooo bad. I hope you guys really like this chapter. I'm worried that I went wayyy overboard with the dialogue. Can you believe I wrote two characters talking? Me either, which is why I'm worried. So anyway there's one more chapter after this one, because seven seems like a good number to end with and cause really there is no more after the baby…for now anyway.

By the way if anyone is still harping on Christian-Aero-Captain please leave the poor kid alone. At 15/16 years old I was convinced that I was always right too. You live and you learn that some fights just can't be won. You learn when to stop fighting a useless battle.

And this chapter goes out to my two newest stalkers: dr.evil99 and Demigod. One for convincing me to keep on writing this story and the other for making sure I'm okay even if I didn't respond to the messages.

Disclaimer: I own no part of the Teen Titans, Dc Comics does. And the title of this chapter belongs to Fall Out Boy, who so totally rock. Especially Pete Wentz, who is sooo cute.

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Raven hated hormones. She hated the mood swings, hated the sudden crying jags, hated the crazy food cravings, and hated the sudden desire to laugh at the most inappropriate times. Hated that she could be reduced to a pile of goop just by looking a baby clothes. But most of all she hated that the hormones made her feel so damn emotional. Hated that the feelings she tried so hard to control, were able to run her. And all of those rampant hormones were telling her to forgive him.

He'd arrived the night of her baby shower. An elaborate, not entirely female affair put together by Kori and Cassie, with a little help from Jinx. Needless to say it was very pink. But it had been fun, a grand celebration of the life that was within her; although why Jinx and Cassie thought her child would wear anything such lurid shade of pink was beyond her understanding. Although judging by the gifts, which included a plush bo-staff, a mini archery kit, and a complete car kit, she figured they weren't the only excited delusional people in the Tower.

She knew he had to have arrived after the party, when he knew they'd all be asleep. It was the only way she figured her highly perceptive powers, which had so far claimed the lives of four sofas, two TVs, one refrigerator and about seventy-nine light bulbs, didn't sense his aura.

He sought her out. In a perverse parallel of the time she'd abandoned him, he found her in that same place. Precariously perched on those same rocks, wondering what the hell you say to the father of your child who's been gone for the past eight months. Do you yell? Cry? Ignore him? Do you forgive him? That thought made her pause for a moment. Was there anything to forgive?

That's how he found her. Deep in a debate about how she should respond to him if and when they finally spoke to each other. She was so deep in thought that she almost missed it, him breathing her name for the first time in months. Almost missed the way his hand began to reach for hers. Almost missed the look in his eyes when he saw her swollen belly; when he saw the place where their child was.

"Touch it." Out of all she'd been planning to say that wasn't it. But that look, that look of shock, of awe and joy told her that it was the right thing to say. It was the perfect catalyst for the thoughts that she was finally forming.

"Gar." His name crept from her mouth, as if her lips had forgotten how to form the letters of his name. Licking her suddenly dry lips she began again. " I tried to be mad at you. I tried to be angry at you and I tried to despise you." It surprised her how easy it is for the words to come. "I thought that you had abandoned me. Abandoned us. Thought that I had scared you away." Another simple statement, another simple truth. " But it wasn't me. I did nothing wrong. I was not the reason you abandoned me, abandoned us." He flinches slightly at the word 'abandoned', but does not remove his hand from her stomach. She can sense him tensing, waiting for the diatribe he thinks is coming, waiting for his proverbial tongue-lashing. But that's not where she's taking this speech.

"It wasn't you either. You are not entirely to blame." His hand stops the lazy circles it had begun, but his eyes stay glued to her belly. "You were scared. I know that now. And you had to leave because you were scared. You needed this fear, needed this scare, but you had to deal with it alone. You had to leave." He's finally looking at her and she can see it in his eyes, see that she was right, that she hadn't just been grasping at straws when she thought of all the reasons he'd left her. But she's not done yet. "I'm not mad. How can I be? I've run from you before out of fear, out needing to deal on my own and needing to be away. And I realized that if you were half the man I think you are you'd come back. That you'd realize that you belong here with me, with us." She's done for now, although there's so much more she wants to say, like how much she missed him, how she slept in his bed just smell him. How she wished he'd been there for the first pictures, the first heartbeats. But she can wait.

"I'm sorry." It's so soft she almost doesn't hear it. Before she can respond he continues. "The last time we were here like this you were the one who had left, the one who had run away when things got tough. And I…I was the one who was left behind, hurting. You'd think that I would've learned back then that running away out fear is no good. That I would've remembered how lonely and sad I felt while you were gone. You'd think knowing that would've kept me from doing the same thing to you, kept me from putting you through all this. But you know how strong fear is, how it can make you feel like running away is the only escape, is the only way to pull yourself together. You know how it feels to be so scared that it hurts." He stops briefly, and she can't help but wonder where he's going with this. And then he begins again.

" I don't know much about being a parent; about being a dad. I don't know much about raising and caring for a child. And I'm scared as hell that I'll mess up and screw up our child for the rest of his life and ours. And I know that I missed out on so many things already. But if you're willing to forgive me, to give me another opportunity, I'm ready. I ready to do this with you, ready to be here for you both."

For a moment her mind goes blank. She knows he's waiting for a response, knows that she should answer, but for a brief second she can't say anything. But just for a moment. "Did you miss me?" She knows the answer but she needs to hear him say it. "Desperately." She's got one more question, "Do me a favor?" "Anything." "You have to promise me that you won't leave again. Promise me that you won't make me live another eight months without you. Promise me that we'll do the best we can to raise our child. That no matter what I say during childbirth you won't leave the room." He's smiling now, a Cheshire grim lighting up his jade face. "Promise me that and you'll get that second chance." She's standing now; head tilted back to look him in the face, the smallest of smirks on her face. There were no words. Only the sweetest, lightest butterfly kisses, sealing and promising so much more.

It's not till they're walking back to the Tower, his arms wrapped protectively around her, that she tells him the secret she's been keeping. "By the way Gar, I just found out that we're having twins." And although she's no astronomer, she's sure that the smile on his face can be seen all the way on Tameran.

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A/N: So. What do you guys think? Was it worth the nearly two-month wait? Was the dialogue too much? Are we excited to find out that they're having twins? Tell me what you guys think. 


	7. Thank Heaven For Little Girls

**Thank Heaven for Little Girls**

A/N: So this is the last chapter of 'When it all Falls Apart'. Writing this was…crazy; it was draining and exhausting and had me pulling my hair out at times. But it was so worth it. And I feel such a sense of accomplishment, not only because the story is done, but also because I told the story I wanted to tell. And I'm so very grateful to all of you for continuing to read this story and continuing to review it and letting me know what you think. Trust me it means a lot to me.

Okay enough of the mushy thank you part. I know the only reason you all came back is to meet the twins. Let me just say first that while I had already chosen one name the second name came to me in a review. Something about mourning becoming someone, but this story becoming me? It was the perfect name. Thanks Calli.

And since I began with Raven I thought it would be nice to end with Gar.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. At all. DC Comics has full Titans ownership. But I do own the twins. The title belongs to Maurice Chevalier and is from the musical Gigi.

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Garfield couldn't remember ever being that small. Couldn't remember a time when he'd ever been as tiny as the girl in his arms was now. He couldn't remember ever being so perfectly formed either. Every finger, every toe, every freckle on her tiny body, was perfectly placed to him. She was perfect. She was beautiful. She was his oldest daughter, Zuri. 

Raven had told him he could name the child who came first. She told him this before she went into labor and before she began threatening to shove certain parts of his anatomy where they didn't belong, as well as threatening him with other forms of bodily punishment that he didn't think he deserved. Before she began feeling the birthing pains and before she'd nearly broken his hand with her squeezing, all the while trying to breathe in that funny hee-hee-hoo way she'd been taught by Kori's Lamaze tapes. Before he'd been removed from the infirmary, out her reach and out of her sight. Kori claimed it was because he was making them nervous with his constant questions about how long it would take. Dick, and Roy, who were waiting in the common room with the rest of the Titans and the Doom Patrol, claimed it was so Raven wouldn't kill him before he got to meet his children. Before he got to meet his daughters.

Zuri was first. Her name was Swahili for beautiful. It fit. Gar could already see that she was going to be gorgeous. In a twist of genetic fate, in a freaky cosmic dip in the gene pool, Zuri looked like neither of her parents. She wasn't green and she wasn't grey. Instead she was the palest of ivories. Her eyes, neither jade nor amethyst, were the brightest shade of sapphire, vivacious and intelligent. Her hair wasn't bottle green and nor heliotrope, instead it was the darkest shades of midnights. Raven had once shown him a picture of her mother as a girl and in Zuri, Gar saw Arella. Beautiful. And human. According to Victor and the doctor that Bruce Wayne had flown in to help him, this child was completely human. She contained neither one of her parents amazing Meta genes.

Nearly thirty seconds after Zuri came her fraternal twin sister, Elektra.

It had been decided that since he was naming the first one, Raven would get to name the second one. She'd had two names picked out, because while she was sure that the first child would be a girl, the second child had been a mystery to her and to the ultrasound. If the child were a boy, she would name him Lir, after the Welsh god of the Sea and a character in one of her favorite books. If the child were a girl she would name her Elektra, after one of her favorite Greek myths.

Elektra carried traits from both her parents. While her skin mirrored her sister's in it's paleness, her eyes were the sharpest of emerald, intense and luminous. Her hair was the palest of purples; although Raven knew in time it would darken to a deeper shade of indigo. She was the perfect blend of both parents. She was also a Meta. She carried both the ability to shape shift into any animal and the mental powers of her mother. The doctor and Victor were at loss to explain how one child had ended up with both sets of Meta genes. Not that Gar cared. Looking down at three most important people in his world, Gar knew he wouldn't have cared if his babies had come out spitting fire with four fulsome crimson eyes, as long as they were healthy.

As he watched them, sleeping oh so softly, he begin to think. He began thinking about the choices that had brought him here that brought him to this moment in time. Began thinking about the decisions still to be made and the questions still to be answered. Began thinking about when exactly would be the right time to ask the mother of his children to marry him. When would be the right time to ask the woman he loved if she'd like to spend the rest of her life with him. When should he ask her to become Mrs. Garfield Logan?

It hit him then. Just how big and crazy an adventure he and Raven had decided to embark on together. They were now parents to two very special little girls. They would be in charge of assuring that these two very small, very fragile beings would be okay, would be able to survive in this world. They would be in charge of watching every shaky first step, listening to every stuttery first word. They would be in charge of kissing every skinned knee, soothing every hurt feeling and mending every broken heart. In charge of easing every fever, erasing every doubt and chasing away every nightmare that came and scaring away every monster under the bed. They would have to know when to hold them close and when to let them go. When to cuddle and coddle and when to let the world teach them it's lessons. They would have to know when to admonish and when to comfort, and sometimes when to cry with them and for them. They were now parents.

He knew it wouldn't be easy. Knew that raising one child was hard, let alone two. Just getting through their terrible twos would be a feat in and of itself. Adolescence would be a nightmare. There would be fights and arguments about clothes, about movies, about boys, (Gar swore that he'd never let them date anyone, till they were 40.) fights about lifestyles and the choices they made. There would times when they would be angry with him, be angry with their mother. Times when he wouldn't know the answer to their questions, the solutions to their problems. Times when it would seem like nothing he said or did for his children would be enough. But there would also be times when they would look at him, would hug, would kiss him. Times when they would make him feel like he was their world. And Gar knew that it would be enough. Knew that this journey he and Raven were embarking on would be amazing, be worth it. Though it wouldn't be easy and the path wouldn't be so straight and clear, it would be worth it. It would be the journey of a lifetime. He knew that in the end he would be thanking heaven for the girls who held his heart.

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A/N: So this is the end. I wanted it to be longer. Wanted it to be 10,000 words at least. But I fear that if I add anymore it would just be overkill. So I quit while I was ahead. I'm thinking and this is just a thought, that I may, may, may in the not so near future write a small companion piece to this that showcases the twins 1st birthday. But as it stands now this is the end. I thank you all so very much for reading and hope that you enjoyed it. 


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